“We must love ourselves in order to receive love from others.” Rachel Brathen
Self-love sometimes seems “woo-woo” to me. I mean, how do you really, truly, madly, deeply love yourself? It feels sort of indulgent and narcissistic to me to want to love myself.
On top of my that self-love mental block, it can be tricky to really feel that love and acceptance for yourself, that sense that you’re enough just the way you are, when all around you are messages that you need to be BETTER. Check out any fitness magazine cover – especially as the new year approaches – and you’ll see what I mean.
Complicating the issue further are messages from those around you. Growing up, my parents were very critical (they’ve toned it way down since then) and so nothing was ever good enough. When I got a 98% on a test, they asked why I hadn’t got 100%. When I got 100%, they asked why I didn’t get bonus marks (there were no stinking bonus questions, that’s why!). There was definitely an expectation that anything less than perfection was unacceptable.
What a total mind-f*ck, right?
As I journey from unworthiness to self-love, self-acceptance, and worthiness, I like to keep in mind that I am grateful to my parents for helping me feel like I can always continue to grow, mentally and physically. They did the best that they could in parenting me and only wanted what was best for me. Now, it’s up to me to travel the rest of the way.
Activities
Meditation: Self-love guided meditation from From Here to Love
Learning: How Self-Love and Acceptance Improves Your Income from Lucky Bitch
Yoga: Heart Opening Hatha Yoga Routine from SarahBeth Yoga
Journaling prompt: If you had enough (money, time, friends, love, etc.), what would your life be like?
Gratitude: List seven things you love about your body
What is one thing that you love about your body? I love my strong and curvy hamstrings.
mostly fit mom 
Hey Joanne,
Thanks so much for sharing my meditation! I struggled with the concept of self-love for a long long time. I didn’t really understand how you create the feelings of love for yourself. Affirmations and motivating quotes seemed sort of silly; and there was a fear that I’d become egotistical or narcissistic if I was too “into” myself. I didn’t want to end up like “those” people.
But real self-love is the polar opposite of narcissism (which is a really unhealthy sort of self-obsession due to a severe lack of self-love). The feeling of self-love makes you totally humble. It’s a really really quiet sort of confidence (think zen monks walking elegantly in their beautiful robes).
It’s about developing an awareness of your vulnerabilities and insecurities, and holding a really gentle space inside yourself for those feelings. It’s more about being kind to yourself, rather than having an internal cheer squad.
Hope that’s somewhat helpful! ❤
Angela
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Hey Angela,
I was my pleasure to share your meditation. I loved it!
I like the zen monk image. I’m going to keep that in mind as I delve into self-love further.
If you have another other thoughts on abundance, gratitude, or mindfulness, pop on back and share 🙂
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I like my legs; they are very strong.
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