Have you read The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte? I finished working my way through it over the weekend, with the assistance of my life coach and a group of like-minded women, and it was totally enlightening.
The premise of The Desire Map is that most of us go about setting our goals in a backwards way, by setting out what we want to accomplish, hoping that we’ll get to the feeling we want in the end. LaPorte proposes a different approach: figure out what you want to feel (a.k.a., your core desired feelings) and then establish your goals to align with those desired feelings.
The message of this book resonated with me completely because this is exactly the kind of thing I’ve been working on with my life coach (which is probably why she recommended the book). Over the past several months, I’ve been examining and shifting my thoughts, and my feelings have followed.
Using the workbook portion of The Desire Map, I worked through each area of my life, identified what was working and what wasn’t, brainstormed three core desired feelings, set out what I wanted to do, experience and have in each area of my life, and recorded four main intentions/goals for the year ahead. It took several hours of listening in on my thoughts, conversation with my life coach, and bouncing ideas off the four other women who were also working through The Desire Map. We discussed kids, joy, anger, and bangs, among other things, and really dug deep to come up with three words that would describe our core desired feelings for the year.
My three words? Abundance. Enliven. Confident.
Abundance to me is about feeling like I have enough time, money, and energy. Time for my kids, husband, family, and myself. Money to travel, have a comfortable home, no debt, choose exactly what I want to do for work without restriction, explore my interests, have freedom. Energy to exercise, explore my interests, and share with my husband and kids.
Enliven is about feeling active and vital, savouring the small things, feeling alive, being energized, feeling happiness and joy, being light, practicing gratitude and appreciation, being enough and growing toward more, being open to new things and people, feeling inspired and uplifted.
Confident is about feeling strong and powerful, not fearful, being sure of myself, owning my own opinion, owning my choices, being unswayed by others, knowing myself, making up my own mind.
Going through The Desire Map process was hard work and absolutely worth it. I feel so much more clarity about what I want to focus on over the coming months and know that I will dig through The Desire Map again.
What method do you use to set your goals? Are you familiar with The Desire Map?