Reverb 12: Day 23

Kat at Tenaciously Yours has posted information about “a prompt-a-day series for the month of December that is meant to give us all the chance to reflect on 2012 and the opportunity to write down our hopes and dreams for the coming year.” Her post and the details are here.  I have fallen behind in Reverb 12 posts, but am going to attempt to catch up…

Appreciate: For what did you find a new appreciation this year?

I wouldn’t say that I have new appreciation for my husband, but I recognize that I have appreciated him inadequately. He does so much for me, our kids, our family. In return, he receives my sarcasm and criticism for not doing everything on the to-do list, or for not doing it exactly as I would.

This, obviously, is not a good thing for a relationship, for our relationship. And while I do realize that my standard, critical response is a Bad Thing, I have been unable to reprogram myself. And I need to. I need to be nicer to my husband, to speak with kindness and humour rather than with sarcasm, to stop rolling my eyes when he doesn’t immediately know exactly what it is that I want him to pick up at the grocery, to understand that he’s also terrible at dealing with anger and lashes out with words in self-defense because of the way I’ve been treating him.

This coming year will mark our 15th wedding anniversary. We have never thrown the D word around, but I wouldn’t classify our marriage as particularly “happy” right at the moment. Not uncommon, I suppose, but still sad to me because we used to be disgustingly “happily married.” So in 2013, I want to be nicer to my husband, because he really deserves it, and because I miss being happy.

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