When I last posted, I had intended to follow up shortly thereafter with a post about my New Year’s resolutions. Only problem I had was that even after a couple of weeks of thinking about it, the resolutions remained to be made and I was still hemming and hawing about what to write.
Sure, I could throw out “lose 20 lbs this year” or “finally run a half marathon,” but when I get down to the core of the matter, I’m not sure there’s anything I really want to resolve to do this year.
If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know that I’m a planner, goal-setter, and list-maker. New Year’s resolutions are really just goals, and I have no shortage of those, that’s for sure. But there are certain expectations – that I have, at least – that go along with a person’s annual resolutions, if you’re one of those who’s into making them. First, they should verge on being grand and life-changing, like “I’m going to stop procrastinating” or “I’m going to start working out regularly.” Second, I think they should be attainable. “I’m going to stop eating chocolate” or “I’m never going to eat french fries again” are probably not realistic, and you’ll be reneging on that resolution before the month is out. At the same time, though, they shouldn’t be “just” goals, or what you would normally have on your to-do list anyway. And this is where I’m stuck.
I have every expectation that 2012 will bring about major changes in my life. Unless something terrible happens (*knock on wood*), I will be finishing my dental degree and will become a dentist later this year. I should have my license in my hot little hands by the middle of June. The rest of the changes that go along with finally finishing school are not so clearly defined.
I need to find a job, and I need to figure out where that job will be. It’s my understanding, from talking to a few people in the know, that a lot of dentists don’t really hire associates here in Saskatoon until March/April. Um, I’ll be done school in April, which means there’s a possibility that I’ll be writing exams before I have anything lined up. The uncertainty is very uncomfortable for me.
We’re also toying with the idea of moving to Australia, where I can work with a Canadian license without writing any further exams. At this point, the move is intended to be temporary, in the 12 month range, but you never know, right? Winters are (typically) cold and definitely dark here on the prairies… Were this move to happen, I would have to find a job that would be sufficient to support me and my family and allow me to start paying off the massive student line of credit I’ve accumulated, and I would probably have to accept it without checking out the particulars in person. Oh, the anxiety.
As you may also know, I have been rehabbing my left IT band for a while now. It’s slowly improving, but it’s still not 100%. My physiotherapist is amazing and his approach is definitely working for me, but it is a chronic injury, so a quick fix was never what I expected when I first saw him back in October. While I have been running the past couple of weeks (we spent several days in Arizona after Christmas – so much better than Saskatchewan in December), I am not running very long or very far, and as much as I’d love to throw a half marathon into the mix this year, I think I have to wait and see how the rehab plays out before I commit to any races.
What does that leave me with for resolutions? I would love to work on losing 20 lbs, commit to lifting weights 2 times per week, find a new personal trainer that I love, do a sprint triathlon, run several 5k’s, do yoga 3 times per week, organize the house, finally hang pictures, and get the mud room finished, but I am writing my licensing exams in exactly 2 months (March 3 and 4) and will have to be studying like a woman possessed (by motivation fueled by fear of failure, if by nothing else). Can I add the stress of a firm commitment to weight loss, regular training, and household organization to the mix? Frankly, I just don’t think I have it in me. That’s not to say that I won’t be trying hard to fit in regular workouts and focus on healthy eating, because I intend to, but New Year’s resolutions, to me, mean that you are motivated and committed from the moment they are made – usually at least until that burst of “I can do it” wears off, but preferably in accordance with a well-laid plan you’ve made in order to stay on track throughout the year.
Is this an excuse? Yeah, probably. It it valid? I think so, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered to write it all out.
Maybe my resolution this year should be to cut myself some slack and treat myself with kindness in 2012. Dental school + motherhood + running a household + being a wife + finding a job and making life decisions = a lot on my plate. I’m sure I’ll be better off mentally and physically if I just do what needs to be done in order to get through school and take care of myself and my family. I’m not sure exactly what this will look like, but for now, it means not adding anything to my plate in terms of health and fitness and household resolutions.
What’s your number 1 resolution/goal for 2012?