I feel like a big, fat failure.
If I were to get a report card for the past month, it would look like this:
Eating healthfully F
Getting necessary tasks done F
Being a good mom F
In the past week alone, I have consumed chips, a giant chocolate bar, Fudgee-O cookies, pizza (on more than one occasion), and ice cream. I have screamed at my daughter and completely flipped out on her, saying things to her that should not have been said. I have not registered my kids for gymnastics, bought Halloween costumes, or bought my daughter shoes for gym class. I have ordered pizza instead of cooking, eaten cereal and called it supper, and polished off a big bag of chips on my own. There has been absolutely zero working out. I haven’t done any studying, updated my calendar with my list of projects and exams, or made an organized list of patients that need to come in to have work done. I was late paying my monthly parking fees, I’ve got a pile of cheques to record and deposit (I’m a moron and volunteered to be the treasurer for our college’s student council), and I’ve been putting of booking a physio appointment because I have no idea where to fit it into my schedule. I haven’t started job hunting for when I’m done school in the spring, my desk/office are still a disaster, and I haven’t started looking for an after-school babysitter yet, though we desperately need one.
About the only area in which I’ve been successful is in getting lots of sleep, because I’m just feeling so exhausted, I am having a hard time staying up past 9pm. And I sleep until 7am, which is definitely late for me to be getting up if I want to make it to school on time to set up for morning clinic.
Tonight, I had a list of about 8 things I wanted to get done. I think I got 2 of them crossed off the list.
I’m not looking for consoling words, because I do know that I have a lot on my plate and am accomplishing quite a few things, despite my “failures.” I just would like to not feel so lousy about the things I’m not doing, and I’m not sure how to do that. I think I need to adjust my expectations, but again, not sure how to do that, when everything I’m not doing seems to be pretty darn important.
On a much happier note, I won a giveaway over at Trying to be a Yummy Mummy and received my prize today, which included a copy of The Biggest Loser Cookbook (pictured at left). I took a quick look at some of the recipes and am really interested to try some of them out. A couple of salad and chicken recipes popped out at me. No promises, though, on when I’ll get around to trying them out.
It’s 9:20pm now, and though I would love to brush and floss and crawl into my bed, I’m going to make lunches first. But that’s it. I may have Type A tendencies sometimes, but I’m not feeling up to any sort of overachieving tonight – not even close. I’m definitely in bare minimum mode these days.
Just realized I have something else to add to my to-do list: a friend is getting married on Saturday and I haven’t even thought about a card and a gift. Cash it is, I guess! No use stressing out and shopping for something they probably don’t really need anyway, right?